He asked to "fluff my boner.."
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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