There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
