What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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