if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I still have a little drunk in my system
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
