At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize