if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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