Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
