yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
