i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
