I need help removing her.
I think my vagina is haunted
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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