You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
