Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
