doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
