"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize
