I didn't shave. On purpose
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
