He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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