We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
