so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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