Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
