I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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