i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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