Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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