I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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