I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
