i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
