I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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