How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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