im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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