I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize