Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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