YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
