He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
