unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
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It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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