just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
