Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
