Plan B is the new Plan A
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
