So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
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How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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