We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I wish there were birth control emojis
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
