youre lurking in front of me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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