i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
