All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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