I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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