yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
