I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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