my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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