And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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