We're facebook friends in real life
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
