billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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