Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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