i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
