sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
