I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I just sharted jello shots
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize