My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
