My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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