Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
