My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
