he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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