Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
